So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
