I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The uberlube is also flammable
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
