what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
