is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
