I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
