I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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