Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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