talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
