Non-Jews are for practice
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
