At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize