With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
