mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize