Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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