Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
