Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize