Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
