i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize