A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
