Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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