Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize