i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
