Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
