I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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