Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize