It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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