Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
