Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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