I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
