she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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