There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
