Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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