It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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