Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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