i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
They took my balls.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
