when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
