I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
