shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
