I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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