Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
