OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
