Cold hands, warm shart.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
