it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
