she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
