What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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