like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
