32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
