She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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