What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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