belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
