No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
