She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
