He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
