I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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