We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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